“The Grief of Which I Rarely Speak” from Titration
Commissioned by The Crossing
Duration: 8m32s
Music: Shara Nova
Text: Shara Nova
Available versions:
SATB choir with four-part divisi
PROGRAM NOTE:
Titration is an hour-long choral song cycle composed by Shara Nova which examines difficult emotions like fear, sorrow, disgust or rage through the lens of the nervous system and utilizes body-centered practices that develop one’s capacity to calm oneself when such emotions arise. In these times of conflict and crisis, how can we feel more, rather than less?
With simple actions like humming, shaking, holding hands or intentional laughter, the song cycle explores ways that we can soothe our nervous systems, foster a sense of safety, and grow in our capacity to connect with each other.
This music is greatly influenced by the Somatic Abolitionist body of work and practices of Resmaa Menakem. “Somatic Abolitionism is a living embodied Anti-Racism practice and culture building that requires endurance, agility, resource cultivation, stamina, discernment, self and communal discipline cultivation, embodied racial literacy and humility. These can be built, day by day, through reps. These communal life and invitational reps will temper and condition your body, your mind, and your soul to hold the charge of race.” By exposing a person to distress, then taking a pause to calm the body, one learns to pay close attention to the body sensations experienced and when revisiting the traumatic event, a person gradually becomes better able to process the pain.
Analogizing the healing techniques, the word “titration” is sung throughout the work, appearing in brief episodes which function as a “pause” between the more intensely emotional songs.
Additional influence for this work comes from polyvagal theory author Deb Dana, as well as practices by Qi-gong teacher Master Chunyi Lin and Laughter Yoga.
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EDITIONS:
This edition is a single movement from the larger work “Titration,” excerpted for stand-alone performance. Many of the other movements from this work are also available stand-alone through Blue Sword Publishing
LYRICS:
The grief of which I rarely speak
finds its sound in private spaces
The hole of my mouth
is a pathway to the bottomless inkwell
I look for you in the blowing grass
I search for your cloud in my teacup
I check under my bootsoles
are you there?
in the hole in the sky
a hole in the ground
the lights have changed in my constellation
how do I know where I am without you?
In the wake of your passing I ache.
To those with easy sayings
To those with short answers,
leave me and let me weep a while.
The grief of which I rarely speak
And to know...
I ache.
In the wake of your passing, I ache.
I know you in the blowing grass
I know the cloud in my teacup
I check under my bootsoles
Are you there?
In the sky
The ground
Lights have changed in my constellation
How do I know where I am
Lights
How do I know
The lights